How To Feel Deserving

If you struggle with feeling deserving of all the good things in life you are not alone. Many people feel this way and for very specific reasons. Some people have experienced traumas that have made them feel so bad to the point where anything good feels foreign to them. Some people have experienced situations where every time something good happened to them someone put down their accomplishments and made them feel small.


When people treat you poorly or minimize your accomplishments it is super easy to not feel deserving. Those feelings of guilt creep in. You no longer feel worthy because someone made you feel less than. You feel as though good things are for people better than you. It is because of this mindset that you and many others sabotage the goodness that tries to enter their lives.


These are common behaviors and typical when abuse or neglect of some sort occurs. According to the International Journal of Psychiatry in Clinical Practice there is a relationship between physical neglect in childhood and the self-sabotaging behaviors that occur in adulthood. When any issues from childhood are unhealed or ignored they tend to show up in adulthood and can affect lives in a negative way.


The good news is that you can absolutely transmute negativity into positivity and completely transform your life. You have the power to change your predetermined destiny. Your destiny is not in the hands of the person or people who treated you badly. It is in your hands. You simply have to activate the power within utilizing the tips below:

How can you start to feel deserving?


  1. Self-Awareness

 One must first recognize that they are displaying certain behaviors that they have carried over from childhood. The first step in improving your life is by recognizing that something in your life needs to change and/or that improvement is needed. If you don’t recognize this then behaviors that you are unaware of will continue to be repeated. Becoming aware of self takes practice. It takes an evaluation process and doing some reflection on your thoughts and behaviors on a daily basis.


  1. Root Cause

Knowing what made you feel undeserving in the first place is extremely important. Sit with yourself and think back to a situation or situations that made you feel not good enough.   Write down this specific situation so it is out of your head and on paper. Sometimes when things are stuck in your head there is a tendency to stay stuck in life. Get it out of your head and jot down what happened. Jot down how you felt after and target the age where that behavior started. This is the catalyst to your healing. If you don’t know where you came from then you cannot possibly know where you are going. Root cause is extremely important in achieving a better quality of life.


  1. Self Care

 Start doing something for yourself each day without thinking that you do not deserve it. Let the focus only be on what you love doing and not on who made you feel bad for taking care of yourself. Recognize that you are meant to take care of yourself and do good things for yourself. Keeping yourself up, whether that is getting your hair done, your nails done, buying yourself something, and/or taking a bath with crystals. Give yourself permission because you need no one else’s permission to do something kind for yourself.


  1. Rewire

 Write down the exact words people have spoken to you and then reframe those words with words that make you feel uplifted. Say these words to yourself every single day. Words carry frequencies and vibrations. They can either make you feel good or make you feel bad. Make sure you are only saying good things to yourself.


  1. Set Boundaries

Many people think as though they have to maintain toxic relationships with family, friends, etc. because they do not feel comfortable disconnecting. You may feel this way. It is so hard for people to let go of toxic relatives because they feel it is disloyal to remove themselves from those people. However if someone has traumatized you or made you feel bad about yourself this is not good for your mental, emotional, physical, or spiritual health. Declaring what you do like about people and what you don’t like about people will allow you to invite people in who you do want to be around and repel who does not match your vibe.


You always deserve the best and you are not what happened to you. You have the power to transmute what happened to you into positivity. Take your story and create a beautiful life from it. It is never too late to create your peace and to choose your happiness. Take today and start a new self-love journey where you feel fully supported by only love and where you only allow love in.


Become self aware of your thought patterns and behaviors so you can start the journey of healing and happiness. Activate the root cause knowing that the only way to move forward is to figure out what is holding you back. Take time out for yourself to do the things you love or make self-care a priority in your everyday life so you can get used to feeling deserving. Say those positive words so you can feel uplifted everyday. You are the creator of your life so clearly decide what you will allow and what you won’t allow.


Do you struggle to feel deserving? Let me know in the comments!


- XO!



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