People pleasing is the act of going against your authenticity and your boundaries to please another person because you feel as though if you don’t do what makes them happy, they will get upset with you. People pleasing is something that many people partake in. Over the years I have come to realize that it stems from fear and a lack of boundaries.
Fear sets in when you feel as though you will lose people if you speak your truth and let them know that you don’t want to attend their party, their function, or hang out with them when they may want you to. Let’s say one of your friends wanted you to go to the movies, but you were absolutely exhausted and had loads of work.
Out of fear you may say “yes” to that friend. You may also fear that if you say “no” there will be a conflict. This is where overthinking comes in. You are already thinking of having a potential argument and an unsatisfactory outcome.
When you keep saying...
If you struggle with feeling deserving of all the good things in life you are not alone. Many people feel this way and for very specific reasons. Some people have experienced traumas that have made them feel so bad to the point where anything good feels foreign to them. Some people have experienced situations where every time something good happened to them someone put down their accomplishments and made them feel small.
When people treat you poorly or minimize your accomplishments it is super easy to not feel deserving. Those feelings of guilt creep in. You no longer feel worthy because someone made you feel less than. You feel as though good things are for people better than you. It is because of this mindset that you and many others sabotage the goodness that tries to enter their lives.
These are common behaviors and typical when abuse or neglect of some sort occurs. According to the International Journal of Psychiatry in Clinical Practice there is a relationship...